In His Father's Footsteps
by kittyonnails
Summary: Sesshomaru has always hated his father's choices, but when he finds himself making the same life choices, how will he come to terms with it?
1. Default Chapter

In His Father's Footsteps

Inu Yasha Fanfiction

By Kittyonnails

Sesshomaru scowled at the garden. He was home again, and as usual that had put him in a sour mood. As oldest son, he was supposed to have taken over as leader of the dog-demon clan as well as lord of the western lands. That was the reason he had returned, as he did most every winter, to his childhood home.

He never spent more than a few days here, it was too unpleasant. Sesshomaru prided himself on his stoic manner. He would not compromise himself by remaining at home. Or at least he would have never risked losing composure until now. Something unimaginable had happened. Even after all the confusion and hurt he had endured due to his father, Sesshomaru had followed in his father's footsteps. He too had fathered a half-breed with a human.

Sesshomaru had retreated to his ancestral home, his family's mountain stronghold. He tried to tell himself that it was for safety, that he did not want his enemies to find out about the child. Maybe Jakken could buy that, but it was proving much more difficult to fool himself. He knew that he had come here to provide a happy childhood for his child-to-be.

Human women had been the weakness that caused his father to lose control of the lands. The demon nobility had joined against him. Father had been able to fend them off, but unable to protect the woman he loved. Grief-stricken, but determined to keep control, his father had tried to earn the loyalty of the masses by killing the demon Ryokotsei. Though a success, it was the end of him.

Then came the mystery of his father's burial and the inheritances left to himself and Inu Yasha. It had been years later that Sesshomaru had received the Tensaiga, and many more before the mysteries of his father's life had began to unravel. Even now, many years since, there were still things he did not know. It was not likely that he would ever know all his father's secrets.

He had kept one secret here in the estate that even Inuyasha was sure to be ignorant of. Sesshomaru sighed to himself. It was time he faced that secret. He rose from his seat and slipped down the hall, to the east wing of the estate. He knelt at a door decorated with black roses and knocked quietly.

"Yes, come in." the reply came. He slid the shoji, just enough to slip through, then entered.

"Mother, I have returned." he bowed low to his clan's matriarch. No one but him knew she was alive, and so he had publicly assumed the titles associated with the head of his clan. Although, that seemed ridiculous given his current circumstance.

"Yes, welcome." His mother sat behind a screen. He could only see her silhouette, but that was normal. Since her husband's disgrace, his mother had refused to allow anyone but her maids to lay eyes on her. Sesshomaru had been only a pup when his mother had gone into hiding. His father had been too busy to care for him, so he had stayed with his mother. The maids had tended him and mother spoke with him, but the love had left her spirit. Once again, he was having an emotionless conversation with mother.

"My entourage and I shall be staying for some time."

"Yes, I see."

"Mother..." It was always difficult for him to talk to mother. Since he had left home she had become distant, even to him. He knew she would probably never speak to him again once he told her of the situation.

"yes?"

"How is your health?" it was fine, of course, but Sesshomaru could not bring himself to sever his connection with his mother just yet.

"I am in perfect health, but I see that your injury has not healed."

"Mother, my arm is not going to heal."

From the other side of the screen she sighed and shook her head.

"A shame." she commented. Sesshomaru felt his arm throb. He was all too aware of the shame his mother felt that her son had lost his arm to her husband's bastard. As a demoness of good breeding, she kept her comments vague. Sesshomaru knew what his mother alluded to bringing up his arm, more than ten years after the loss . She was disappointed in him for not bringing her the head of his vanquished half-sibling, a promise made long before he lost his arm.

Almost as long ago, he had abandoned the oath. His mother was a devout Buddhist, and encouraged her son to study Zen. Even though most demons have no immortal soul, upper-class, purebred demons did possess one. It was the study of Zen Buddhism that had convinced him to discard the oath in favor of disowning and forgetting his half-brother all together. Mother had not agreed with his philosophy, and he had left home. He had not intended to battle his brother, but the Tetsusaiga had entered the picture. Shamefully, it was greed for the sword that had driven him into battle with his half-brother on so many occasions. Even now, after all that had happened between them, there was only an uneasy truce between himself and Inuyasha. Mother, of course, knew nothing of the brothers' battles.

"Yes, well, if you will excuse me, I must return to my companions." he bowed and turned to slide the shoji.

"You've brought her again. I can smell the stink of human from here. Beware my son, a human does not make a good pet."

"As I am learning. Thank you mother. Goodbye." He slid out of the room and into the hall, wondering if his mother was aware already of the child-to-be. How could she? Especially since he was sure that the mother was not yet aware.

Thinking about her, Rin. She had grown from a sweet and pleasant girl into a beautiful and wise woman. Only a human, and yet she always seemed able to understand him. His only other companion in life had been Jakken. Loyal but insincere and noisy, Jakken had served him to the best of his meager ability. It was Rin who had truly been a companion. The child had began their introductions wordlessly, trying to care for him. No one had tried to help him like that before. He had been intrigued by her innocence and selflessness. When she was killed, he used the Tensaiga to resurrect her. From then on, she had followed him through all his travels.

Still, it would have remained simple if she had not been so intuitive. It was her ability to read him that had endeared her to his heart in adulthood. Of course, her ravishing beauty was another stepping stone. Before he even realized it, he was in love with her. Despite his feelings, he had refrained from any action until the day she joined him in the bath. Her beauty shone in the steamy water, and she smiled.

"M'lord, I know your heart is troubled. I want to remind you that Rin is yours: mind, body, soul, and heart."

She said it humbly, though she looked him in the eyes as she said it. He had not needed her permission, but the fact that she was giving it spoke to him a request rather than a submission. He had not been able to resist.

Since then, he had enjoyed her regularly. In truth, they had enjoyed each other. He could not rationalize how her happiness pleased him. It had not taken long, only two months after it had all begun he had sensed the life within her. For the first time, he had not left Rin with Ah-Un while he made his visit. Soon, Rin would realize her condition. Until then he would bear this burden alone.

She was in the vegetable garden, marveling at the assortment of produce that was growing on the mountain plane. As he approached she turned her always smiling face to him.

"M'lord, what bounty this garden bears. It is amazing." she gestured gracefully at the rambling cucumber patch. He smiled slightly.

"Rin, we will be staying here for some time, so I'm sure you will have the chance to enjoy it." She smiled up at him. He knew she was wondering why they were here, but she was smart. She would never ask him so bluntly. He reached up and traced his finger gently along her jaw line, watching her blush and look away. Their intimacy still intimidated her. He would enjoy this innocent love while it remained. Surely there were only a few weeks remaining before she realized. The future was so uncertain, it felt as if this moment might be their last.

This was it. Sesshomaru told himself when he saw Rin's troubled face. She had just opened the door to his chamber.

"M'lord... I have...urgent news." she whispered. He nodded for her to continue, wondering if he made the right decision in letting her discover for herself what they had done together. The time for regrets had passed, but his heart ached seeing her in such fear of him.

"I think, I am with child." She stared resolutely at the mat as she spoke. Sesshomaru could not help notice that she had suddenly abandoned her usual speech pattern. Since her childhood, Rin has always referred to herself in the third person. This self-deprecating manner was common among children, and basically good manners. Perhaps she had decided that her situation warranted a more adult manner.

"You are correct. Rin, you shall bear my firstborn." She looked up at him with eyes full of wonder.

"But M'lord, I am human." she said it like an apology.

"Yes."

"Then you did not intend..."

"No, I did not." Now it was Sesshomaru who looked away. He had not thought that she would worry over his intentions about the child. He suddenly felt ashamed. Rin bowed low, and left the room.

Was she sorry that he had done this to her? It should be an unimaginable honor for any human woman. Inuyasha's mother had thought so. What was Rin thinking? Suddenly, her restrained manner no longer appealed to him. True, he had not wanted her to be as wild as the human his brother enjoyed, but as Rin had gotten older her manner had become more reserved. It was a rare moment that she commented on anything of more than casual interest. She should be happy. He frowned as a cloud of uncertainty settled over him.

He remembered Inuyasha's mother. Princess Inoki, as she was known. Sesshomaru had been only a pup when father had met her. He remembered her beauty. He had been much too young to realize what a beautiful woman could do. Only twice had father taken Sesshomaru to see his new lover. It was not really so odd that he would take a bedmate outside of his spouse, what was scandalous was that he had acknowledged the child she had borne him.

Sesshomaru had never seen a baby unless he counted the day his father brought him to the place where he kept the princess, to introduce him to his baby brother, who was yet unborn. In childish innocence, everything had seemed fine. The princess was really an extraordinarily kind woman. She had shown him how to listen at her belly for the sounds of life. He remembered asking his father if his new brother would be coming to live with him. His father had sat him down and explained that as firstborn son, he was the heir. That meant that he was the one who should live at the house. He was going to let little Inuyasha grow up to inherit the house where they had visited him.

He was so young then. Much too young to understand why his mother was shutting him out. A few years later, he began to make the connection. Father would bring him on some journey or jaunt, then when he retuned, Mother would accuse him of spending time with humans. After Rather's death she made a point to explain to him that little Inuyasha was only his half-brother. She also spent days being upset with him for any real or imagined contact with his infant sibling.

She needn't have worried, Sesshomaru thought to himself. Father made sure that she would have all the power she needed to take revenge out on princess Inoki and little InuYasha. He got himself killed. Sesshomaru grimaced, remembering the bitter loss of his father followed by his mother's coldness. He had been so young, and Inuyasha, even younger. Could he really protect his child from the same fate?


	2. In His Father's Footsteps Part 2

In His Father's Footsteps

Part 2

Inu Yasha Fanfiction

By Kittyonnails

Kagome was standing in the doorway of the home she shared with InuYasha. She was tossing water on the little vegetable garden with a wooden ladle. InuYasha sat inside playing with their daughter. She smiled as she heard little Chiyo squeal from inside.

"Heads up Kagome." Their neighbor, Yuki, pointed down the street. "Some girl is looking for you, asking all around."

Kagome was surprised. These days life was pretty quiet. She wondered who could be looking for her.

"There she is now." Yuki nodded to a silhouette on the horizon before slipping away.

Kagome watched the woman approach, wondering if it was someone from a nearby village in search of one of the medicines she made. Certainly, she did not recognize her. In fact, it had been some time since Kagome had spoken with anyone like her. The woman wore a kimono, pale blue and purple cotton. Not the most luxurious garment in the land, but much nicer than anything the people here wore on a daily basis. Maybe she was a headman's daughter. Kagome looked at her own dark blue peasants clothes. She did miss wearing nice clothes.

"Excuse me." The woman blinked in surprise. As she looked at Kagome.

"You're Kagome, aren't you?"

Kagome nodded, wondering how this woman knew her.

"You don't recognize me, do you?"

Kagome shook her head.

"I guess it's not surprising, I was only a little girl when you last knew me. My name is Rin. I was companion to the lord Sesshomaru."

"Sesshomaru!" Kagome exclaimed in recognition, "Your'e that girl, you're Rin?"

Rin nodded.

"Kagome!" InuYasha appeared at the doorway, "What's up, I heard you say Sesshomaru." He scanned the surroundings suspiciously. His eyes fell on Rin.

"You reek of my brother's scent. Who are you?"

Rin bowed low.

"Lord InuYasha, I am Rin, companion of your brother. I have come for your help."

InuYasha sniffed again, and frowned at her.

"I bet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"Kagome asked, irritated by his rudeness.

"She's pregnant. Sesshomaru's baby." He whispered into ear. Kagome's eyes got wide.

"How can we help?" turned a strained smile to Rin.

"I am afraid M'lord does not want this child. Truly, I did not intend on it either, but I do want it. I cannot stay with him. His hatred of cross-breeds is well known. I cannot seek help with humans either, knowing their hatred of demon kind. You are my only hope. InuYasha, you are a cross-breed yourself, and Kagome's kindness is legendary. Surely you two cannot hate my child-to-be."

"Of course not. Come inside please." Kagome ushered Rin into the house. "This is our daughter, Chiyo" She gestured to the little girl playing on the floor by the hearth. Before she had time for any more introductions, InuYasha pulled her out of the house.

"Hey, that's so rude!" Kagome protested.

"Hey, what if he comes here looking for her? Ya'know, trying to destroy the evidence of his little fling with a human."

"Then we will protect her and your niece or nephew."

"My... yea, I never thought of it like that. That baby is my relative." He smiled and walked back into the house. Kagome sighed, frustrated but happy.

Rin was sitting by the hearth, watching Chiyo play. She looked up at InuYasha.

"Lord InuYasha, I have to ask you something."

"Sure." InuYasha sat down next to her and waited for her to ask.

"How did you know? About the baby, I mean."

"Oh, that. I didn't really. I just could smell that you were pregnant, and that you had been around my brother. I just put 2 and 2 together."

"So, lord Sesshomaru would also have known my condition by scent?"

"Sure, why?" He noticed a tear run down her cheek.

"never mind."

Not one to pry, InuYasha figured that it was between her and Sesshomaru. But he did have a few questions of his own, since she was here. After all, it had been several years since he and his half-brother had any contact.

"How is ol'Sesshomaru anyway"

She turned a slight smile to him.

"M'lord seems fine. I don't think this bothers him, the child I mean, so long as I manage to keep it out of his mind. This distance should help."

InuYasha snorted.

"Yea, maybe. Dunno though, I never could figure him. He always hated me."

"No, Lord InuYasha, that is not true. M'lord Sesshomaru, well, he is envious of you."

For a second, InuYasha did not say a word. He just stared at Rin blankly. Kagome sat next to Rin and passed bowls of rice to everyone.

"You think InuYasha's brother is jealous of him?" Even Kagome found it hard to believe.

"Yes. He is jealous of lord InuYasha's power."

"O, I get it, you mean the Tetsusaiga. That's different, he still hates me even if he's jeaouls of the sword."

Rin shook her head.

"No, not your sword. He has his own inheritance, the Tensaiga. Don't you see it lord InuYasha? You have everything lord Sesshomaru does not. You have surpassed your father in power, won love and loyalty from the people, and you can love whomever you choose. M'lord Sesshomaru is ashamed of his shortcomings in those areas. He has let your father's lands fall into chaos. The only men loyal to m'lord do so out of respect for his late father. On top of all that, he has created a child with a human woman. Cant' you see lord InuYasha, he does not hate you. If this envy had fostered true hate in his soul, he would kill you or die trying. Instead he names his envy 'hate' to save face. Even if he thinks himself a failure, he still wishes to set an example as your older brother."

Both InuYasha and Kagome looked at her, stunned. Finally, Kagome spoke.

"Wow, I guess its all in your perspective."

InuYasha shook his head.

"No way! No way can that explain everything!"

Rin sighed quietly.

"You may believe whatever you wish, but I speak the truth."

Sesshomaru poked at the brush as it sat o his desk in a drying puddle of ink. New Year's was approaching, and he still hadn't managed to compose the right letter. He knew she was with InuYasha, and most likely why. He wanted to send her a note, letting her know he wanted her home. He also wanted this hell hole to be a home.

All his self discipline seemed to leave him when he was here. How could he have let her stay away for an entire season while he took every distraction to task in order to avoid writing the difficult letter. He stared at the paper. The black characters of her name stood out like an accusation on the starkly white paper like an accusation. He knew there was no way he could honestly try to coax her home until he had confessed to mother. If mother disapproved strongly enough, Rin was likely safer with InuYasha.

He imagined her petite frame swelling, as it must have begun to do by now. It was difficult to imagine not being there with her, even though he wasn't. He remembered his father speaking to him as they traveled to visit InuYasha's mother. He had told him that princess Akio was a human, and that the child she was going to have was going to be half demon and half human. Most demons, father said, would kill a half-demon at birth. Sesshomaru smiled a bit, his father was not like most demons. In a time when both human and demon cultures were in chaos, his father had risen up and led a great demon nation. All of the west united under him. Sesshomaru knew that he would never be a great general like his father. At least he could, like his father, be above infanticide. Sesshomaru would protect and defend his child. He had known it since he first sensed the life inside Rin's body.

Resolutely, Sesshomaru left his office and knocked on his mother's door. She allwed him audience, as always through her screen. It occurred to him that Rin would be a better mother than this. The thought steeled him into a reckless confession.

"There is to be a child." He began, not really sure how his mother would try to punish him. "The human girl I have kept as my companion is going to bear me a child."

Mother was silent for a moment.

"You know what you must do, don't you Sesshomaru?"

"I won't. I wont' kill my own flesh and blood, I won't kill your grandchild."

She twitched a bit at his words. Clearly she had expected him to agree.

"It is wrong to let it live, surely you know how most half-demon abominations meet their end. Letting a child live only to turn into the basest creature, a thing with no control. It is cruel to let it live."

"InuYasha overcame it." He challenged, daring to mention his half-brother by name.

"InuYasha had your father's help, and the human blood of that wretch is at least royal. What is that pet you tout all around, just a common urchin you picked up. It is amazing that she didn't annoy you and get herself killed. Beyond that, she is useless. If you see fit to use her for other pleasures, that is your own business. I must insist, Sesshomaru, that you procreate with other demons of your class. If you must fornicate with a human, at least be discreet about it."

She was getting upset, he could see her aura growing.

"Mother, I did not come her to ask your advice on the matter. I came her to announce to you my decision."

The aura grew stronger, and began to erode holes in the silk screen that separated them. Sesshomaru could not help peeking curiously through. He had not seen his mother since he was a pup. She growled deeply and bared her fangs at him.

"You are not my son, only another bastard child of your fool of father!" she snarled at him.

"You will not change my mind." He told her, trying his best to keep his own temper under control.

"I will kill that abomination, just as I should have killed that bastard brother of yours." She slunk back and leapt out of the window.

She was gone before Sesshomaru was aware of it. He had not seen his mother outside of this room for so many years, he had never though she would leave. He wasn't even sure she could leave! But she had, and she was after Rin. He knew she would keep her word and kill the girl if she found her first.

Sesshomaru leapt out of the open window. At least he had the upper hand. There was no way that his mother knew Rin's scent as well as he did. It would take her much longer to find her in a blind search than it would take him to get there - he hoped.


	3. In His Father's Footsteps Part 3

In His Father's Footsteps

Part 3

InuYasha Fanfiction

By Kittyonnails

She was beautiful, veiled only in the steamy mist rising from the heated water of the spring where he was soaking. He watched, keeping the emotion from his face as she slipped elegantly into the still water. Her hair spread out around her like a dark aura, shown only in reflection. There was something different about her tonight, he could just barely sense it over the rapid beating of his own heart.

Sesshomaru had to admit that his human companion had become a ravishingly beautiful woman. Still, she was a human and he could not see himself seeking out a human woman. Had he not known from his father's experiences that it were possible, he would not have even considered it. He did consider it though, and despite consistently denying himself his rights with her so many times, he was considering it again.

Rin's dark eyes poured straight into his as she slowly tread the steaming water. He cheeks were flushed from the heat and the water shimmered over her shapely form, barely concealing it. She inhaled a breath of the steam and he watched in fascination as the mist curled in between her lips. Then she held still, drawing his eyes to meet hers by her own force of will, her lips came together momentarily in the small curve of a smile.

"My lord, I know your heart is troubled." Her voice was humble, as if she knew how out of place her words were, but could not contain them. Unable to feel angry at her trespass, Sesshomaru did not interrupt her.

"I want to remind you that Rin is yours: mind, body, soul, and heart." It was ridiculous, didn't the girl know that he would take her if he so desired? Her words echoed in his mind as he watched her, keeping his face still. She seemed content to have said her piece. It was more of a pleading than anything, since he needed no permission from her. The knowledge burned in him, and suddenly he did not care if she were human or youkai. His eyes drank in her beauty and his body burned with desire.

"Rin." he called to her, sliding through the water and pinning her against the rocks, pressing his lips against hers in a possessive kiss. She melted into him instantly. Nothing had felt so right in a very long time.

Rin, even after so many long months he could not forget her for even a moment. He was near enough now, but the run from his mansion to the hut where his half-brother protected his mate had taken a full day even at his speed. He stopped, close enough to see the village, but far enough away that only his half-brother had a chance of spotting him. He was not concerned with Inuyasha right now, Sesshomaru was looking for signs that his mother had beaten him here. All seemed safe though, and he hopped out of the treetops.

He scented her immediately and strode down the path directly towards the hut. Really it was just that, a single room, with only screens for privacy and an open hearth in the center. It was over the hearth that Rin sat, stirring the coals of the fire, coaxing more heat from them to cook the soup hanging above. She did not notice him. A small child did though. The little girl was immediately recognizable as his own niece. She threw a rock at him and ran around the other side of the hut, calling for her mother. He watched her with only the mildest interest and then stepped into the hut.

Rin glanced up from her work and her face filled with surprise, followed by fear. He did not come any closer, held in place by her fear. She had never feared him before, even as a small and helpless child she had brazenly followed him everywhere and asked questions she should have been punished for. Always, he had indulged her as best he knew how. Even more confusing than her unusual behavior, was her suddenly normal behavior. She was carrying his child, how could she fear him?

"Sesshomaru." His half-brother's human mate stood at the opposite doorway, sandwiching Rin between them. Behind her knees, the little girl he had seen peeked at him. "Why are you here?"

He looked from the odd woman and child to Rin. Her condition was obvious despite he best efforts at binding her stomach. There was no way that they didn't know it was his child inside her.

"Rin." he called to her, ignoring the other woman. "You must come with me. You are no longer safe here." As he watched Rin nervously consider his words, he heard Inuyasha's woman whisper to her child, "go get your daddy."

Rin watched her master and lover carefully. She had spent most of her short life studying him and had thought she had judged him correctly, but now there was something definitely wrong. Unfortunately, she was unable to discern if that meant that she had misjudged him and he was not here to harm her or their child-to-be, or if it meant the opposite. It suddenly seemed possible that he might be angry that she left him. He was as unreadable as ever, but strangely there was emotion on his face. It was such an unfamiliar sight that she was sure it meant trouble. After all, anger was the only emotion Sesshomaru ever showed.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I'm so sorry for any trouble I've caused you." Rin bowed as low as her stomach would allow, deciding to take the offensive. She had never been in a trouble he would not allow her to apologize out of, perhaps it would work here as well.

" Rin, come with me." He took a step towards her and she sensed no danger from him. Briefly, she wondered if she would she would be able to. She stood up and held her hand out to him, hesitant but willing. She had never known him to harm her, and he didn't seem entirely threatening. Seeing her lord after so long reminded Rin of how much she loved him. Leaving him had been the toughest decision she had ever made, and now that he had come to collect her she couldn't help but follow him.

"Rin, No! Just wait a second, Inuyasha will be here soon, then we can all talk about this. Sesshomaru, Please don't just take her away like this!" Kagome pleaded from the other side of the room. Sesshomaru was clearly uninterested in her begging, but her words caught on Rin's heart. She turned away from her lover to look back at the woman who had been her best friend all this time. Clearly, Kagome was afraid for her. Rin hesitated, she wanted to go to her friend and assuage her fears, explain to her that she had simply misjudged him and that things were going to be back to normal now. She was sure that Kagome would have trouble understanding that, and that Inuyasha would have even more trouble. Her friends had been most unwilling to accept her love for Sesshomaru, even as they accepted her and his child graciously. The last thing she wanted to do was hang around long enough for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru to begin fighting. Her eyes began to tear, the whole situation was her fault. Clearly, she had overreacted and now she was going to hurt the only people who had ever treated her as kindly as Sesshomaru. The tears broke free and slid down her face one after another as she looked at the anxiety on her friend's face.

"I'm sorry Kagome." She said, turning away and hooking her arms around Sesshomaru's arm. It felt so comforting to touch him again. She was such a jumble of emotions right now, she hoped he would take her straight home. She rubbed her tear streaked cheek against the soft silk of his sleeve as they walked out of the hut together. He seemed to relax slightly under her touch. She wondered what that odd expression he had worn earlier had meant.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome ran to meet him as he leapt up to the hut with Chiyo in one arm. He was frowning already and she knew that Chiyo had told him about Sesshomaru.

"Where is that bastard?" He growled, handing Chiyo to her mother and sniffing the air.

"She went with him. He just told her to go with him and she did. What can we do about that Inuyasha?" Kagome was lost. After leaving everything she had known to be safe from him, Rin had walked right over to Sesshomaru like he was there to rescue her.

"She what?!" Inuyasha looked at her in disbelief. "Why?"

"She just did, all she said was 'I'm sorry' and walked away arm in arm with Sesshomaru." Kagome hugged her daughter close to her as the child squirmed.

"Goddamn her! Well, we can't protect her from that, so I guess it's up to her now." Kagome nodded. She didn't want to admit it, but Inuyasha was right. It was Rin's decision. If she chose to go back to him, there wasn't a lot that she and Inuyasha could do. That didn't mean she was happy about it though. Her eyes began to fill with tears at the thought of what Sesshomaru might do to her. Kagome freed Chiyo from her embrace and hugged Inuyasha instead.

"I just hope she's ok, and the baby too. It's all fine as long as they're ok." She sobbed into his shoulder.

"Why are we here? Lord Sesshomaru, I thought we were going home." Rin stared at the cave curiously. Surely he didn't think that this was a suitable place for her to be living in her condition. The last thing Rin wanted to do was complain, but she really had expected to go back to the mansion and couldn't understand why there hadn't gone straight there.

"It's not safe at that place right now. That is why I had to take you from where you were. It was not safe for you to be with Inuyasha and his family." She frowned at him slightly. It made no sense, even Sesshomaru knew that Inuyasha was capable of protecting her quite well. Especially compared to her usual bodyguard, Jakken. There was something more than simple concern here, he must be certain of some specific threat to her, or to Inuyasha.

"Maybe Lord Sesshomaru would like to tell me what has happened while I was away?"

He looked at her, and for once she was sure what he was thinking. He was wondering if he should tell her what had happened. Rin was almost certain it has something to do with their child-to-be. She decided the best way to coax him would be not to ask again. Instead she reached for his hand.

"I want to show you something." She smiled slightly, holding his hand to the bulge of her stomach and resting it beside her naval. "Can you feel the baby?" She asked, feeling the movements of the child inside her.

Sesshomaru nodded slightly before withdrawing his hand. He watched the curiosity in her eyes, knowing that he must tell her so much. It was all quite overwhelming, the dread of what might happen if his mother found them, the elation at being reunited with Rin, the concern over her condition and what the time apart had put between them. For reasons he did not understand, he always felt that he should tell her more. This time his mind and heart were in agreement, but still he was having a difficult time finding words.

"My father." He began, watching her as she listened. "Died in the arms of his human lover, Inuyasha's mother. My mother never left her apartments after that, and never saw anyone else. I tried to console her, but I reminded her too much of father. She only told me what was expected, including killing him for being what he was. I want you to know that I have not killed him for simply being born, and I will not be killing my own child either. My mother has demanded that. It is because of her that I had to take you from that place. She now knows that I will not do as she asks, and she will do it herself."

"Your mother?" Rin whispered, wondering at all he had told her. The whole story was more than she had ever known of her lover's history. That he had told her all this was an intimacy deeper than the physical. She longed to touch him, but knew that would be too much. Instead, Rin hugged herself and nodded at him.

"I understand. Thank you for protecting me." She smiled at him. He smiled back at her, a small smile.

"I will always protect you , Rin."

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A/N:

Hope you like this so far, It took me a long time to write this one, and I'm not entirely happy with it.

Also please note that those who have no ability to interpret things loosely should probably skip the lyric-poem. Thanks for reading!

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You hadn't seen your father in such a long time

He died in the arms of his lover how dare he

Your mother never left the house

She never married anyone else you took it upon yourself to console her

You reminded her so much of your father

So you were banished and you wonder why you're so hypersensitive

And why you can't trust anyone but us

But then how can I begin to forgive her so many years under bridges with dirty water

She was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me

I didn't know where to begin in all of my 50 odd years

I have been silently suffering and adapting perpetuating and enduring

Who are you younger generation to tell me that I have unresolved problems

Not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labour

How can you just throw words around like grieve and heal and mourn

I feel fine we may not have been born as awake as you were

It was much harder in those days we had paper routes uphill both ways

We went from school to a job to a wife to instant parenthood

I walked into his office I felt so self-conscious on the couch

He was sitting down across from me he was writing down his hypothesis I don't know

I've got a loving supportive wife who doesn't' know how involved she should get

You say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?

Just the other day my sweet daughter I was driving past 203 I walked up the stairs in my mind's eye

I remember how they would creak loudly

She was only responsive with a drink he was only responsive with a photo

I was only trying to be the best big brother I could

I've walked sometimes confused sometimes ready to crack open wide

Sometimes indignant sometimes raw

Can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour sometimes

It feels like highway robbery

And sometimes it's just peanuts

I wish it could last a couple hours more

So here we are both battling similar demons (not coincidentally)

You see in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually you're not relinquishing your majesty

Your are wise and you are warm and you are courageous you are big

And I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life

-_The Couch_, Alanis Morissette _(Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie)_


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